Tea Leoni played Julie Mott in the 1995 film Bad Boys. Listen, it is going to be hard for anybody to shine in this movie. Martin Lawrence was his hilarious self and big slick Willy was just beginning to become a mega movie star. However, you could have had ANYONE play Julie Mott. My ex girlfriend, who has the personality of a door knob could have played Julie Mott. So this isn’t particularly how bad Tea Leoni is but how bad that character was. But by the end I will probably end up attacking both.
Tea Leoni played the best friend of a whore. (Nope, it’s 2019 Brian can’t say that. A sex worker? Nope, still not good enough). Tea Leoni played the best friend of an independent sex contractor, Max, who also is an informant for Will Smith. Tea Leoni who claims she is not a whore (hm, okay) but went to the party with Max anyway, knowing what kind of work she did. Max gets killed by some gangsters because of drugs or money or whatever. Tea Leoni witnesses the murder and now is the key witness to the case. Are we all caught up?
Tea Leoni, just shows up at Will Smith’s place to lay low, but for some reason Martin Lawrence is pretending to be Will Smith? It’s not an iron thick plot point but just go with it. So Martin lives at Will’s place and Will lives at Martin’s house with his wife and kids. I would be so pissed if I was Will Smith. Living in a nice and I am talking NICE single man’s fuck pad and then you have to give that up to go stay with a woman and her kids? Fuck that, that’s the real crime. Forget about the drugs and murder, that is the true crime in this God damn movie. Alright, back to Tea Leoni, who just shows up, unannounced and brings her little fucking dog with her. The dog shits everywhere and chews up $1200 dollar shoes. Hey Tea, ever heard of training your fucking dog? Maybe a dog cage when you’re not home? Or how about a walk once and awhile? Tea then being the genius she is, does not pick up on the fact that Martin Lawrence is not Will Smith, even though they’re 78 pictures proving other wise. I mean, how has she survived this long on Earth? It’s shocking she wasn’t the one murdered. And after her performance I am sure the writers regret not killing her early on.
After all the dog shitting and her crybaby stories Martin finally does police work and shows Tea some mug shots to help catch the guys who murdered her friend. During this time she has the balls to lecture Martin Lawrence about what he is eating. Really? You can’t take care of a dog but you’re going to tell him how to eat? Your best friend was a whore, excuse me, independent sex contractor, and you’re going to tell him pickles have too much salt? I would have thrown her down the flight of steps.
Once Tea finally remembers what the guy looks like, Will Smith and Martin Lawrence do fantastic detective work, considering Tea didn’t give them shit to go on. They track down the guy and basically blow up his drug operation and chase him down at a private airport runway. Tea Leoni contributes nothing in this whole ordeal. She just watched as Will Smith shoots the bad guy about 11 times. Thanks for nothing, Tea. I can see why you were not brought back for the 2nd one.
To recap, Tea did three things the entire movie. 1, she let her dog shit every where. 2, she lectured Martin Lawrence about his diet and 3, she snitched the entire film. So you tell me, who is the real villain?