This is a hard one for me to even write about. Demolition Man is one of my all time favorite movies. It is so bad, it’s good. Sandra Bullock is so hot in this movie. So. Fucking. Hot. I’m not going to lie to you, I developed a big crush on Sandy when I would watch this in my early teens. But now, as a grown ass man, she stinks. She is still hot but very annoying and just down right bad at her job. Do better at being a cop Sandy.
I don’t think I have to explain the plot of the movie to you but I will. Sly Stallone gets frozen to catch his arch rival and the one that got away, Wesley Snipes. When Sly gets unfrozen he is in a modern day world and the rules have changed. Sandy is the officer assign to help him and she basically fumbles it right from the beginning. Sandy plays a by the book cop who has maybe been on the force for 2 hours before she gets assigned to pick up Sly. She’s bubbly and cute and everything you would want in a cool best friend. But a cop? No sir. You want a whiskey drinking, foul mouthed son of a bitch who probably hasn’t showered in 3 days. Sandy just didn’t fit the bill. Don’t get me wrong, I think females actors can play cops. There are a ton of examples but none better than Mariska Hargitay. Sandy B however just did not hit her mark on this one.
Sandy is a fan of Sly’s previous work as a cop. She studied his cases and in some ways wants to be him or wear his skin, she puts off that vibe. But there is wanting to be someone and trying way too hard to be cool around that person. Which one did you think Sandy did? Sandy played this way too big and was constantly on Sly’s dick about the littlest things. Sly’s been frozen for 100 years or something and Sandy invites the guy to have sex. SEX people! Sly is ready to explode like a soda can that’s been underneath a car seat for a few months. Sandy puts some head piece on him because that’s the way they bang in the future, very VR style. Sly has some sort of PTSD freak out and wants to fuck old fashion style. Sandy then freaks out at the idea. Excuse me? No means no, I get that. But why is Sandy surprised this frozen caveman wants to fuck old school? He does everything else old school and she eats that shit up. The minute he wants to dick her down she acts like he hasn’t been frozen for 100 years, but of course, no means no. Sly is then left leaving with a hard dick and a long night ahead of him.
Leaving Sly with blue balls after you invite the man for some consensual sex is about as cold blooded as it gets. Sandy, with some push back, stops being stubborn and is ready to open her mind and learn. She finally adopts Sly’s old school ways and becomes a better cop for it. Ughh ya think? Sly taught this woman everything she knows about being a badass cop. She was the Howdy Doody of the force snd now she is more of a Chiklis from The Shield. Pretty cool from Sly to have Sandy under his wing after the blue balls of the century incident, first class move.But the bigger problem is Sly is so cool and good in this movie that he outshines everybody. Sandy B fell victim to that a little bit here. I mean, did you know Rob Schneider was in this movie? He had about 3 scenes and to this date, his finest work.
At the end of the movie I believe they share a kiss, only in hopes that she finally gave Sly some consensual old school type lovin, not VR weirdo stuff that my buddy Austin is DEFINITELY into.