Sports Betting Is Legal Now. (I Want To Apologize To My Wife In Advance)

It’s official, America is Great again! I don’t think ol’ Donny long tits had anything to do with it this time. The Supreme Court voted 7-2 that the banning of sports betting was unconstitutional. This is huge news, for many reasons. For starters I am the best MMA handicapper in the game. So either some rich fella will pay me for my picks or I will use my powerful brain to make the picks myself. Sure, I may need to sell my car and a couple of pieces of my wife’s jewelry to get by on the bad beats. I’ve seen the movies I know how this dog and pony show works. But I believe in me and my brain to avoid those uncomfortable situations.

I have been (allegedly) placing bets on the popular off shore sites and doing quite well for myself. Well enough to own TWO George Foreman grills. With betting being legalized in the states this opens up huge doors for me. Big enough doors for a George Foreman in every God damn room. But I need to think bigger than Foreman grills and bigger will come.

Ever since the first time I visited Vegas and I could go to any casino on the strip to place a bet on any game, any fight, any Westminster Dog show competition that is all I have ever wanted. The thrill of winning and the deep depression of losing is why gambling was invented. Sex is a gamble every time. From what my 8th grade health teacher taught us, you either end up with AIDS or a child. So let’s not sit there and act like you guys don’t enjoy some rubbin’ and lovin’.

Let’s go Ohio/Kentucky/Indiana. Let’s get the ball rolling so I can be living that Sam Rothstein lifestyle. It is long overdue.

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